10 tips for controlling your anger
Here are some tips for controlling your anger:
Do you feel angry when someone cuts you off at a traffic light? And does your blood pressure rise when your child refuses to respond to you?
Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion – but it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. And uncontrolled anger can affect your health and relationships.
Keeping your nerves under control can be difficult.
But by using tips for controlling your anger, you can control your anger.
- Think before you speak
In the heat of this moment, it is easy to say something that you will later regret. So take a few moments to gather your thoughts before saying anything, and allow the others involved in the situation to do the same. - Once you have calmed down, express your anger
Once you think clearly, express your frustration in a firm but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without harming others or trying to control them. - Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause you anger. If you feel your anger rising, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. - Take time out
Time-outs aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of calm can help you feel better prepared for dealing with what’s coming without getting angry. - Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what angered you, work on the problem at hand. Is your baby’s messy room driving you crazy? close the door.
Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals for later in the evening, or agree to eat yourself several times a week.
Remind yourself that anger will not fix anything and it may make it worse.
- Stick to “I” phrases
To avoid criticism or blame, which may only increase tension, use « I » phrases to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.
For example, say, « I am upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes » instead of, « You never do any housework. »
- Do not hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative emotions to overcome the positive emotions, you may find yourself engulfed in bitterness or feeling injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you may learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship. - Use humor to de-stress
Joking can help defuse stress. Use humor to help you cope with what is making you angry, and possibly any unexpected expectations you have about how things will go. Avoid sarcasm, however, as it can hurt feelings and make things worse. - Practice relaxation skills
When on your nerves, use relaxation skills.
Practice deep breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as « Take it easy. » You can also listen to music, write in a journal, or do some yoga poses.
- Know when to seek help
Learning to manage anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help with anger issues if your anger appears to be out of control, causes you to do things you regret, or hurt those around you.
tips for controlling your anger
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